


How

by Yeetingleek



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, M/M, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 21:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17926571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeetingleek/pseuds/Yeetingleek
Summary: A question, asked in the dusk, in a library:"How did you know you like me?"





	How

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for coming here. Before you proceed I would like to warn you of the overuse of some words like 'feel'

"Hey, Mark," Lucas called out. Choosing to disturb his friend who is too focused in finishing his homework from the hellhole called school. Mark hummed, not bothering to look at him, causing Lucas to pout.

"Mark," he repeated, "I'm bored."

"Finish your homework then, at least you'll have something to do." Mark shrugged, not really caring about what he does.

"I'm so bored though, entertain me," Lucas whined. Unconsciously raising his voice, clearly not listening to Mark's words regarding his unfinished tasks.

Mark winced at the volume of his voice and glared at Lucas, "We're at a library, Lucas. Be quiet a little."

Lucas pursed his lips when Mark no longer give him his attention. Seriously, this one particular friend of his is overworking himself. Surely it won't hurt for him to rest a little, right?

"Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Ma—"

The pen in Mark's hands breaks, he clicked his tongue in irritation because of it, "What, Lucas?"

Lucas pondered for a moment racking his brains so their words will create a comversation for once, "How did you know you like me?"

Mark stayed frozen on his seat, not giving any reaction.

Meanwhile Lucas immediately straightened his back. Surprised at himself for asking that, yes it was out of his own curiosity but couldn't his brain think of another question? He glanced at Mark who currently looked like he just saw a ghost. Great, now Lucas feels guilty, he was about to open his mouth to apologize but was beaten by Mark.

"That's a sensitive topic for discussion." Mark stated, lowering his head while continuing to write something on his book. Though both of them know that the action is only served as a distraction so Mark won't feel like losing his mind.

 

"I'm sorry." Lucas finally says, grimacing when Mark refuses to even look at him.

"Why did you ask?"

Lucas blinked at that, suddenly feeling very stupid for not knowing the answer. Why exactly, he wonder? 

"Uh, I want to know? But it's fine if you don't want to tell me!" He quickly says not wanting to make the other more uncomfortable.

"You're very cruel at times." Mark commented, a barely visible smile on his mouth. However, Lucas can't quite see his face yet.

"I'm aware, no need to remind me."

Mark said nothing after that and Lucas almost believed that the conversation is over until the smaller male opens his mouth.

"I don't know when or how exactly. It's just there when I realized it."

Lucas can't help but scoff, "That sounds unconvincing. Are you sure you really like me?"

"Oh I'm sure alright," Mark says easily finally raising his head to meet Lucas' gaze, "if not I won't be experiencing all this when I'm with you."

" 'This' things? Define 'this' "

"You know, like feeling butterflies in my stomach. Feeling all warm and fuzzy ... Tad a bit dizzy," Mark attempts to explain using his hands to describe what he feels.

"That sounds worrying. Are you sure you're not sick?" Lucas raised an unamused eyebrow while the other just chuckled.

"No, I'm perfectly fine. That's what I'm feeking," Mark answers, "unfortunately." He added with a whisper.

Lucas narrowed his eyes at him, playfully shoving his shoulder, "Should I be offended with this 'unfortunately' ?"

Mark opts to shrug and smiles, "Depends."

Lucas' smile fell, "Oh.."

"Oh is right." Mark retorts making Lucas wince once more. 

"I'm sorry." The taller says.

Mark just stares at him, "Just cut it out, okay? Don't apologize for what you're not responsible of. You're not in the wrong here."

"I just feel bad. Sorry for suddenly choosing this topic." Lucas added. Mark sighed.

"Fine, if you really do feel bad let's just end this talk," he says, "let's just go home. The library will close soon after all."

Lucas nodded, following Mark's lead in packing his stuff. They exited the library after that. He vaguely saw the younger male rubs at the corner of his eyes but he won't question it. For their sake.

He knows the answer anyway.

They talk on their way home, throwing some jokes here and there, laughing afterwards. And it feels like old times, like usual. Except, it's different now.

Mark doesn't even look his way.

Briefly, Lucas wondered. What would have happened if that time he had felt the same thing. Actually returning Mark's genuine feelings instead of rejecting him.

He knows he's not wrong, Mark himself insisted that. But he knows he's selfish. Always keeping Mark beside him even though he knew it will only give him pain. He feels like a complete jerk.

Lucas loves Mark, really, with all his heart. It's just that Mark's love for him is already different. And he only wants Mark to stay by his side, because he knows Mark. He doesn't want the younger to avoid him just because he feels guilty for liking him or he'll avoid him in fear if making him uncomfortable. Mark is just that kind.

Lucas is aware of the consequences. That his actions will only hurt them both even more with pain and guilt. But once again he'll state that he's a very selfish person.

Perhaps, despite it only being a wishful thinking— he thought while seeing waving his hand with Mark as they part ways — if he keeps with this, he might even develop the feelings of his own. That doesn't sound so hard, because Mark is beautiful, both inside and outside.

He'll never know ... Right?

That's why, if that time comes, he promised he will return Mark's feeling.

That's his wish, aside from the fact that he doesn't feel any kind if romantic feelings for his best friend.  
.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
